Friday, 3 August 2012
Taking a break:
When I go out in public, it is a huge strain. I have to remember:
Not to stim, it makes NT people nervous.
Not to act "weird", people stare.
What social ceremonies are to be done in response to other social ceremonies, ie "How are you?" is not an enquiry into how you actually are and as such the only response should be "Fine, and you?".
I have to deal with a bombardment of sensory data and information, filter it for what's important and what's not and hope I don't garble anything important.
I have to strain to hear others, between my hearing loss, information processing issues and the sheer noise NTs produce for things that don't require noise, it's hard to catch everything someone is saying to me.
I have to work out new rules on the fly should a situation I am not familiar with happen.
It is exhausting, so for this week, being at home decorating has been a welcome breath of fresh air. No bombardment, no social rituals I don't get, I can be as weird as I like (stimming is still out, paintbrushes should not be waved around unless splattered paint is the aim :P)
Sadly it is physically exhausting due to my myriad disabilities, to the point where after small tasks, it's quite likely that my hips/lower body muscles will lock up from pain and I will be forced to painfully pull myself upright with my arms if I bend over or crouch.
So once it's done, I'll probably be taking to my bed for a week, and sod what the world thinks. Sleep is the only way to recharge such drained batteries.