Friday, 31 August 2012

Everyday disabilism and how it's expressed:

Everyday, I face disabilism, sometimes even from people who are supposedly my own peers. Seriously, here are some examples I've recently seen from my own peers regarding me:

It is never appropriate to say things like:

"Her carer's need to get her under control" because I had the audacity to disagree with them when they said something thoroughly inappropriate and offensive about disabled people.

"I bet she's not really disabled" because I called them out on perpetuating bigotry against people with different disabilities to them

"She's a total nutcase" because I asked them not to conflate being evil with being mentally ill.

The weird thing is? All these people are considered to be "nice" and "pleasant" by many NT people, I'm beginning to think "Nice" and "pleasant" actually mean "Believes the same bigoted shit I do" because clearly it isn't nice to say rude and inappropriate things so the only way these people could be nice is if the person judging so thinking that being a bigot is acceptable and something admirable.

I mean cripes, don't we suffer this shit from non-disabled people enough? Why do so many of my peers think this shit is acceptable?

Some days because of shit like this, I absolutely hate my neurology because it means that I will always be seen as "bad" "mean" "not nice" "an asshole" or otherwise inappropriate regardless of how nice I am simply because I am not a mannerless bigoted asshole who thinks saying inappropriate shit is perfectly okay.

I'm actually the kind of person who would give someone the shirt off her back if they needed it but because I don't agree with NT bigotry or because I don't understand and practice some meaningless arbitrary social ceremonies, who I am will never be recognized, instead a strawautistic will be used who may have anything and everything projected onto them regardless of the reality.

I'm tired of the bullying that goes on within some of the groups supposedly for people like me, I'm tired of the traitors who court NT able bodied approval by throwing the rest of us under a bus.

I'm tired of disabled people who tell me not to point bigoted shit out because it makes the non-disabled people defensive and zomg they won't stop being bigots if we're not "nice" enough. You know what? If a non-disabled person needs to be asked nicely not to be a complete fucking fuckstain? They're a lousy fucking person. Being a decent person isn't something other should need to ask you nicely to be, it should be the fucking default.

I'm tired of being told I should be on a leash because I dared to disagree with some total brat. I'm tired of the fact that said brat will always be seen as "nicer" than me solely because bigots agree with them.

I'm tired of being demonised, I'm tired of the fact that NTs and able bodied people in general, couldn't recognise a genuinely nice person if they tripped over one because "nice" to them, means "someone like me" not someone who isn't an asshole.

It's mentally exhausting living in a world where I am judged on how much like others I am rather than on whether or not I treat people decently and try to be a nice person. Then again if the world did work on the idea that treating people decently and trying to be a nice person was the only way to see as treating people decently and trying to be a nice person, a large chunk of people would be considered to be total assholes instead of "nice" like they are not.

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