Saturday, 13 July 2013
There are limits to my strength and keep the cookie:
To some minority people:
I know it sucks when nobody supports you when you're dealing with a bigot, but please remember sometimes we don't see you need help especially if we're in the middle of fighting our own battles. Sometimes we just don't have the energy to help you especially if we're also a minority with our own micro aggressions and isms to fight. I and many people who want to help end social injustice do not sit on the internet waiting for other minorities to need our help so we can swoop in like an avenging angel. So forgive us if we aren't always there the second you need help.
As for cookies for being your ally? I don't want a cookie, what I need is simple:
1. I need for the default to be able bodied/straight/cis/rich/white *insert minority* actually listening when I or anyone else who they're oppressing via their privilege explains to them that they're doing something oppressive.
2. I need for some people to stop pulling "but x ism is worse" as an excuse for oppressive behaviour towards others. Other people's assholery to you on the basis of your minority does not excuse or justify your behaviour if you are being oppressive to others on the basis of their minorities. Also if the few others who defend it could stop defending it, that would be nice.
3. I need for some people to recognise that sticking together as a minority does not make them obliged to gloss over the oppressive behaviour of straight/rich/able bodied/cis/white minority people and attack any GLBTQ/poor/disabled/PoC person who asks any minority who also has a privilege not to be oppressive via that privilege.
4. I need for it to be more widely recognised that privilege and oppression matter even when they have nothing to do with your oppression. The sort of "X is the only true oppression/privilege" idea I've run into frequently not only erases the extra harm of being a multiple minority, but also has resulted in privileged people who have an oppression I do not saying some pretty offensive things to me and claiming I'm not oppressed because they think theirs is the only "true" oppression.
5. I need it to be us all in this together against oppression as a whole. I need to feel that me supporting you means that sometimes when you have the time and the strength, you will be willing to support me because what we want is the same, a world where being us is not a drawback but part of a spectrum of equal humanity. A world where isms are part of the past, not our future.
And most of all I need for oppression against us all to end because so long as any one of us is oppressed, the door is open to oppression of all, and you know what? You can't close the door to oppression of all if you're alternating between pushing it closed and pulling back others who are trying to close it. This goes for anyone with privilege and oppression.