Monday, 12 November 2012
Everything positive is a symptom of Autism:
Everything positive that is considered a negative in the eyes of neurotypical people it seems.
The following are because I'm autistic it seems.
My ability and willingness to disagree with people.
My ability to state what I need and willingness to expect to get my needs fulfilled.
My refusal to be considered a second class citizen.
My refusal to be bullied or abused by "normal" people.
Of course the people who blame my autism for these use different terms. They say I am nasty, stubborn, entitled, or state that my care team need to come sort me out as if me having an opinion is somehow unfair or not allowed. Funnily enough nobody ever suggests that being an asshole is a function of being NT, despite the fact that neurotypical people often act the asshole towards people like me.
Being assertive is considered a bad thing, it's bad enough if you're perceived as female and you assert yourself, add in autism and other people knowing about it, and you land up being labelled "bad" for doing the things neurotypical people do everyday.
No non-autistic person would be expected to:
Be silent all the time.
To completely suborn their needs.
To tolerate being treated as a second class citizen.
To put up with abuse.
Yet routinely I and people like me are expected to, and when we "fail" to act as expected, aka we refuse to be a doormat, we are considered "bad" and that "badness" is considered symptomatic of our autism, even though speaking up, expecting your needs to be fulfilled, expecting to be treated decently overall has nothing to do with autism and is not a bad thing, it's a human thing that we are all entitled to do.
Some days it seems to me that being neurotypical and being able to navigate social waters comes with a lot of tolerance that will never be extended to people like me. From what I've seen an non-autistic can be a total asshole, frequently cruel, hypocritical and generally outright nasty but so long as they cosy up to the right people and play the social game, the reality of their behaviour will never be acknowledged, and god help any autistic who blurts out "Cripes, you're an asshole" to said non-autistic asshole because said asshole is being an asshole. That's considered mean and bullying.
We are held to a higher standard, even the smallest slips are reason why we're an "asshole", meanwhile many nasty NT folks can be as mean and as cruel as their shriveled black hearts desire and will never be called on it so long as they don't do it to someone who is socially higher than them.
I've seen this happen so many times, a NT person will harass the hell out of an autistic person and the minute the autistic dares to criticise the behaviour? The Autistic is the bad guy, even if the autistic just told the person to stop hitting them.